Thai Food & Sabotaging Love

I met up with a lovely yoga friend last night.  Had a lovely night catching up over a drink and some amazing Thai curry.  It’s always good for me to spend a bit of time with those who are on a similar spiritual path, it’s great when you can chat about all the things you believe and no one is sat there looking at you like you just fell off the local crazy train…

Happens more than you’d think….

I’ve had time to reflect now on the conversations, and my own personal use of language.  Honestly, you would think I’d know better by now.   The concept of attracting love, soulmates or even just affection was on the agenda.  It appears I still have a way to go.

I sabotage all my relationships with pure self doubt.  I have done a lot of self development over the last couple of years, and I generally feel much better about myself, I love myself and take care of myself more and I want better things for myself.  I believe I deserve better things for myself.

Sounds good, right?  I’m on the right path?  Totally am, I am no where near as bad as I was.  However, when someone is standing in front of me giving me a compliment or telling me they love me, my brain responds with ‘well, that’s all lovely, but you don’t mean that’….

So, while I believe I deserve to be loved, I don’t believe enough to really accept love.  Over the next couple of months I am going to be more mindful of my reactions to compliments, and I’m going to research meditations to reinforce this.  If you have any suggestions I’d love to hear them!

Could this be the shift I needed to move forward?


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