Out of Action

I’ve been away from blogging for a while.  There were many reasons for my absence, but it started with trapping a nerve in my back for the second time in 12 months.  The pain was beyond anything I had felt before and I was struggling through every day, either taking too many painkillers or on the verge of tears.  I had taken on too much all at once and put too much pressure on myself, this is my body’s way of telling me to stop.

It’s been a massive lesson in practicing what I preach!  I sit on my mat week in and week out telling my lovely students how important self care is, how they should be listening to their bodies and taking time for themselves.  There was a moment towards the end of last year where I felt like a complete fraud.  I was selling this idea to others and look what I had done to myself.

I had been beating myself up about all the things I hadn’t achieved yet, instead of celebrating everything that I have.  I had to stop.  The back pain started which put me in a position of having to slow down, I kept going to work and running the classes I had already set up, but I stopped looking for extra students and stopped worrying about whether all the other new teachers were doing better than I was.

I was in agony on the run up to Christmas, and all during Christmas and new year.  The big week off I was looking forward too so much, I spent taking painkillers and simply trying to find a position that didn’t bring me to tears.

In the New Year, we went to Disneyland Paris.  Either that place is actually magical, or it really was the break I needed (could also have been the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept in)  because I have had no pain at all since being there.  Since then I’ve been on bridemaid duties and getting started on training to teach Yin Yoga.

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The most magical thing though, is what I learnt about letting go.  It’s possibly the hardest thing about manifesting anything, but I was in such an odd place that I let go almost naturally, and guess what?  Things shifted, quickly, not in the way I “planned” but in other, better ways.  More on that another day.

Going forward, I still have my affirmations and my gratitude list, but I’ve added more important questions to my days, what do I want from today?  If the answer to that is simply that I want to rest then I’m doing that, I’ve let go of the guilt of not doing things that I think people are expecting.  After all, it’s my day.

Take that into your day, it’s always and only ever YOUR DAY.  Enjoy it.

Love & Light xxx

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